Are You A Mook?

Hollywood and Madison Avenue program us through the programming
we watch on television and the movies, in ads and in fads.  Today’s video
looks at Mooks and MidRiffs, the cultural “bottom of the barell” for today’s
youth.  Are you a Mook?  Watch this and decide for yourself.

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Meet Up: Florida 2010 panel discussion “The State of Gay in Florida” June 25 at the Studio@620 in St. Petersburg

ST. PETERSBURG, FL – MEN4MEN.COM® had our first ever “Meet Up” panel discussion focusing on the State of Gay in the Sunshine State” on Friday, June 25 starting at 5 p.m. at the Studio@620.

Attendees enjoyed wine and such as topics of discussion includes the status of legalizing gay marriage and adoption in Florida, the state of gays in the military and how repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” will affect soldiers stationed in the sunshine state, what the rights of local life partners are in hospital decisions and what are the major health issues facing the gay community in the new century. Panelists are Air Force Captain Timothy Watson, local lawyer John Hixenbaugh and Dr. Roy Finley.

“We were delighted that such a diverse group of people were interested in learning more about gay issues in Florida, thanks to having the event on Pride Weekend,” said the founder of MEN4MEN.COM®. “Our goal with MEN4MEN.COM® is to facilitate these kinds of discussions online and in at events like tonight. ” Check back for our next MEN4MEN.COM® MEET UP focusing on local gay groups and businesses networking.


Men4Men was a Tampa Bay computer club (BBS) long before the days of the web. Today,® is being re-imagined as an inclusive social hub for the gay community with professionally written articles on politics, culture and relationships as well local news and information provided by existing sources. Open to all genders and ages, aspires to present and facilitate healthy lifestyle information and social opportunities like this Meet Up event.


American Stage, Adventures & Outings, Carter’s Florist, Greaton’s Jewelers, Internet Adept, Studio@620


American Stage, Adventures & Outings, Carter’s Florist, Greaton’s Jewelers, Internet Adept, Studio@620



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Be Careful What You Wish For

By Brian Feist

When I consider the debate over same-gender marriage a thought comes to mind that isn’t usually part of the dialog: “Be careful what you wish for.”

First, let me say that I am a staunch advocate for full marriage equality for same-gender couples. According to pro-marriage equality organizations, such as the National Center for Lesbian Rights, civil marriage, at the federal level, provides for some 1,500 legal rights and responsibilities that are virtually ironclad and guaranteed with a $35 (or whatever the going rate) marriage license and an “I do.” The Full Faith and Credit clause (Article IV) of the U.S. Constitution guarantees that for heterosexual married couples those rights are consistent and transferable throughout the United States, regardless of where the marriage was performed. (Thanks to “DOMA,” the Defense of Marriage Act, married same-sex couples are exempted from the Full Faith and Credit clause.)

In contrast, the rights afforded by state-sanctioned Civil Unions number in the low-to-mid hundreds, while municipally-granted Domestic Partner benefits generally top out at no more than a couple of dozen. Further, neither Domestic Partnerships nor Civil Unions are recognized outside of their home jurisdictions.

Couples not covered by local, state or federal regulations can have certain documents drawn up to provide for limited protections, but the cost of these documents can range from several hundred to several thousand dollars, and unless carefully drafted they can be challenged and overturned by “legal” relatives.

The bottom line is that all couples should have equal access to all of the rights and responsibilities of federal civil marriage without having to incur exorbitant costs in securing those rights.

Ironically, during the “sexual revolution” of the 1960s and 1970s, the “rights” of marriage were of little interest to those denouncing the “rites” of marriage. The mantra of the day was, “We don’t need a piece of paper to prove our love.” And they were absolutely correct. When a relationship is basking in the first bloom of love there is no need for the legal protections that come with a marriage license. It’s only when the relationship is threatened, whether from without or within, that the legal ramifications of marriage become important.

When most of us think of marriage equality we judge ourselves by our intentions we tend to think primarily of the rights and privileges associated with legal marriage. As soon as that marriage license is signed and notarized, your spouse is your legal heir and next-of-kin. With the stroke of a pen your legal spouse moves to the head of the line, ahead of Mom and Dad, your brothers and sisters, and any other blood relatives.

But let’s take a look at the flip side—the “fine print,” if you will, of the marriage contract. Let’s look at a few of the responsibilities that come with legal marriage.

Credit. We’ve all seen those ads on TV where the guy is singing about knowing your credit score. Well, he’s telling the truth. When you marry the love of your life, you’re also marrying his or her credit score. Later, when you go looking to buy your little “dream home,” your partner’s poor credit history can mean you can’t get a loan, even if you can afford it on your own income. At the very least, it may bounce you into a considerably higher interest rate, costing you tens of thousands of dollars over the life of your mortgage. The same holds true for buying a new car.

Bills. When unmarried couples have bills, each partner is only legally responsible for his or her own expenses. Not so for marrieds. If lover boy is a shop-aholic who has more shoes than Imelda Marcos and whose favorite pastime is “acquisition therapy,” you may be left holding more than the shopping bags. Maybe a few reading books for 2nd graders hundred dollars at Macy’s isn’t a problem, but bills aren’t limited to shopping binges. Suppose your sweetie is hospitalized with a serious illness. As the data mining practical machine learning tools and techniques legal spouse, you not only get hospital visitation rights, you are also responsible for the expenses not covered by insurance.

Fidelity. As sexual mavericks who cannot legally marry, gay people have often crafted their relationships on their own terms. Some opt for traditional monogamy, while others prefer something more “open,” where sex outside of the relationship is permitted. Still others may even have a more communal arrangement, with three or more people involved. When someone breaks the rules the relationship may end, but it’s usually not much more complicated than stronger than you think quote picking up the pieces and going their separate ways. With legal marriage, however, things become much more complicated. Tricking with that hot number down the street can cost a lot more than a broken heart. Divorce can be messy and expensive, and if the guilty party is the primary breadwinner or there is considerable disparity in income, he or she can even be required to pay alimony.

These are just a few of the responsibilities that come with legal marriage. Am I suggesting that gays should not marry? Not at all. What I’m saying is, be careful what you wish for. Marriage equality will eventually be the law of the land, but marriage is more than a fancy wedding and Happily Ever After. It is a legally binding contract that we should not take lightly or rush into, just because it’s suddenly available. Know what you’re getting into before you say, “I do.”

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Gay Fathers Day: Two-Dad Families Doing Well in Transition to Parenthood

The first study ever to examine the experiences of gay male partners who became fathers via surrogacy shows that they are more likely than heterosexual fathers to scale back their careers in order to care for their children. Also, these fathers report that their self-esteem and their closeness with their extended families increases after becoming parents.
In most respects, life changes resulting from parenthood were very much like those experienced by heterosexual couples – closer relations with co-workers, a transition away from single friends toward other couples (straight and gay) with children, and less time for sleep, exercise, and hobbies.
The study involved 40 gay men who became parents through surrogacy, an assisted reproductive technique in which prospective parents contract with a woman to carry a child through pregnancy to birth. In most cases, the egg is obtained independently from a different woman (an “egg donor”) than the woman who carries the baby (the “surrogate”). The child is genetically related to one of the gay male parents. The surrogacy process is complex and very expensive, and participating couples in the study were affluent.
The study was conducted by four psychology researchers–Kim Bergman of Growing Generations in Los Angeles (a surrogacy agency), and Ritchie J. Rubio, Robert-Jay Green, and Elena Padrón of the Rockway Institute at the California School of Professional Psychology, Alliant International University, San Francisco. Study results were published in the latest issue of the Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 6:111-141, 2010.
The study gathered information from one partner in each of 40 couples through hour-long interviews conducted in person or by telephone. The parents’ median age was 41, and their average annual household income was $270,000. The median age of participants’ children was one year and ten months.
The study gathered information on four aspects of the participants’ experience as they transitioned to parenthood: 1) work and career changes, 2) lifestyle issues, 3) couple, family and friendship experiences, and 4) self-esteem and self-care.
Work and career changes included changing work life in terms of travel, hours and career path (reported by 70 percent of participants); going through occupational changes (65 percent); having sacrifices, losses and missed opportunities in work life (53 percent); and making changes in career goals (53 percent). The fathers reported that their relationships with peers at work improved, while their relationship with superiors at work remained the same. “It is noteworthy,” the researchers wrote, “that many of these gay fathers negotiated their career prospects downward and focused on their parenting responsibilities as being primary, at least for the time being while their children were so young… This is in sharp contrast to heterosexual fathers, who often augment their work hours and career commitments after having children.”
Lifestyle issues involved a variety of experiences, from buying a larger car or expanding the house to lower frequency and cost of travel. Nearly two-thirds of the new dads bought a new car or made changes in their housing to accommodate their child. Sixty percent hired child care assistance. Nearly all (90 percent) reported changing their business and leisure travel in terms of frequency, length of time, and cost. Two-thirds (65 percent) reported changes in their financial status. Eighty-five percent reported completing or updating their estate planning.
The new fathers encountered many changes in relations with family, friends and co-workers. The couples had been together an average of 12 years, and none had dissolved their relationship after becoming parents. They acknowledged a decrease in romance and personal intimacy with their partners, though they said their relationships remained romantic. Most fathers reported that relationships with their families of origin had become closer and that having a baby increased recognition of the couple as a family. Relations with co-workers often improved because of the shared parenting experience. The new dads reported changes to their social life, with fewer late-night and weekday engagements and a gradual trend toward socializing with other couples who have children, rather than single friends.
One of the notable findings was that having a child significantly improved the gay fathers’ self esteem. Nearly all (95 percent) said having a child “makes me feel good about myself” and that their self-esteem had improved since being a parent. The new fathers reported they were taking less care of themselves by sleeping and exercising less and devoting less time to hobbies, leisure activities and involvement in personal causes. Although their reported spirituality had not changed significantly, more of the new parents (an increase from 25 to 38 percent) reported they were attending religious services since adding a child to their family.
The researchers observed that the new fathers “felt extremely positive and proud about being parents… The narratives of the gay fathers in this study underscore how being a parent contributed to greater meaning in their lives… They derived pleasure and pride in taking care of their children, while they also received increasing validation from their families and their communities.”
“Our findings reinforce the growing research evidence that the sexual orientation of the parents makes little difference in parenting. At this early stage of child development, the infant’s or toddler’s needs drive the family interactions and structure the couples’ relationships with friends and relatives. This is as it should be. Gay couples are making major accommodations in their lives just like their heterosexual counterparts who become parents,” said Robert-Jay Green, PhD., executive director of the Rockway Institute.

The researchers’ next study will compare the psychological outcomes of children raised by heterosexual parents and children conceived via surrogacy and raised by gay male parents.
About Rockway Institute: The nonpartisan Rockway Institute promotes scientific and professional expertise to counter antigay prejudice and improve public policies affecting lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people. The Institute’s view is that public opinion, policies, and programs should be shaped by the facts about LGBT lives, not by political ideology. A primary goal is to organize the most knowledgeable social scientists, mental health professionals, and physicians in the United States to provide accurate information about LGBT issues to the media, legislatures, and the courts. The Institute also conducts targeted research projects to address the nation’s most pressing LGBT public policy concerns. Website:
To obtain a copy of the original article as published:
Dr. Robert-Jay Green, Tel. 415-955-2121; Email:
To contact the researchers for further information:
Dr. Kim Bergman, Growing Generations, LLC, Los Angeles, CA
Tel. 323-965-7500 ext. 4715; Email:
Dr. Robert-Jay Green, Rockway Institute at Alliant International University, San Francisco, CA
Tel. 415-955-2121; Email:

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Best Advice

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer , Cleveland, Ohio

” To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone…

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone..

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12.. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful..

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don’t save it for a special occasion, Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone and everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles..

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now..

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved..

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere..

40 . If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

While they’re not cheesy like the deep dish pizza the Windy City is well known cheap jerseys for, or sweet, like the Krispy Kreme donuts tailgaters can be seen grilling in the parking lots, Chicago hot dogs are in a class by themselves. Those in the know top a Vienna Beef dog with mustard, relish, onion, tomato, celery salt, pickles cheap nba jerseys and pickled sport peppers, stuffed into a poppy poppy seed bun. Another popular piece of ladies NFL gear is NFL t shirts that are specially designed with a woman’s figure in mind. These are less straight and boxy than the men’s NFL t shirts, and fit closer to your body so you can still show off your curves. ET Dec. 8, 2012League official Troy Vincent , a five time Pro Bowl cornerback, says players are warned about the dangers of drunk driving.(Photo: Garrett Hubbard)Story HighlightsBrent could face discipline under cheap nfl jerseys league substance abuse policyJosh Brent, like all NFL players, has been warned about the dangers and consequences of drinking and driving.Alcohol education is a cornerstone of the league’s rookie education program, said Troy Vincent, the NFL’s vice president of player engagement.”That particular subject matter is one that is a constant. Not this time, although Prescott struggles. Cowboys 20, Giants 19.. The AFLMOA commissioned a fresh review of how concussion was being managed in the AFL before the 2010 season, in light of developments in cheap football jerseys the US where NFL football has dramatically changed the way it handles concussed players. New NFL guidelines have made it mandatory for both a club doctor and an independent doctor to clear players to return to play after they have been concussed.. Urschel’s suggestion is in hockey jerseys line with that of Dr. Robert Cantu, a neurosurgeon at Boston University and one of the country’s premiere experts on concussion related injuries. Netflix continues to experience healthy subscription growth, domestically and internationally, and continue to believe that they will eventually reach 60 90 million domestic subscribers. This looks increasingly more likely every quarter, and it easily could reach the high end of that goal if streaming services take over, as I believe they will.. She also has a post from Tuesday talking about buying wedding rings. A neighbor said Wednesday that the Tonga family owns the home where police say the incident began. In the UK, FIFA 07 was at cheap jerseys the top of the charts across all platforms for five consecutive weeks. We estimate the overall FIFA franchise was number one in Baratas Replicas Ray Ban Europe in 2006.

Big Gay Mac in France

McDonald’s wants to be seen as a company that welcomes everyone.  Judging by a new advertisement running on French television, that includes gays.

The ad shows a gay teen seated at a McDonald’s table, talking to his boyfriend on his cell phone. He hangs up when he sees his father coming.

This spot is the latest in a long-running French campaign that uses the slogan “venez come vous etes,” meaning “come as you are.”  Another ad featured flirtatious senior citizens chatting on laptops.

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Education Survey

SECTION I: You  and Your High School Experience

Please take this survey and tell us about your environment and happenings.
This survey collects data regarding education experiences of glbtq students including harassment and discrimination as well as exposure to gay role models and culture.

If you wish, enter the name of your High School or Secondary School here.

Location of your school.

What is your graduation year?

Your GPA

Your sex

Sexual Orientation:

How public are you about your GLBTQ identity? Please indicate  any/all areas that you are out.

Would you say you are completely \”Out of the Closet\”?

What age were you when you came out?

Were/are you out of the closet in high school?

Was/is there a GSA (Gay Student Alliance) at your school?

If so, was it openly supported by the teachers and/or administration?

Were/are you aware of any other GLBTQ students in your school?

SECTION II: The Classroom and GLBTQ Issues
Please make sure to answer these questions as honestly as you can and do not be afraid to include graphic material.

Were you ever given reading assignments that openly referenced or included GLBTQ themes? If so, please state the titles and authors.

Were GLBTQ issues ever discussed or referenced in the classroom?

Was homophobia ever discussed or referenced in the classroom?

Were religious topics or beliefs (i.e. God, the devil, Jesus, the Koran etc.) ever discussed or referenced in the classroom?

Were there any books/stories assigned that you personally felt had GLBTQ themes that were ignored or overlooked by teachers? If so, which books/author? Why?

What are some other GLBTQ authors/books that you’ve read for pleasure?

What information do you think would help a student who is struggling with his or her own GLBTQ identity?

SECTION III: Homophobia and Anti-GLBTQ Attitudes in Your School

Were homophobic/anti-GLBTQ attitudes common in your high school?

Were you ever called names for being identified as a GLBTQ student? If so, what names? Do not be afraid to be graphic!

Did any of your teachers and/or administrators tolerate, ignore or enforce homophobic/anti-GLBTQ attitudes? If so, explain how.

Were you ever openly threatened or attacked by other students for being identified as GLBTQ? If so, please give examples.

Do you feel homophobic/anti-GLBTQ attitudes can negatively affect the learning process and your overall experience in school?

Were you ever afraid to participate in class due to anxiety about being harassed for being GLBTQ?

Indicate any connections you observed between racism, sexism, ageism and homophobia/anti-GLBTQ attitudes.

Do you feel that homophobia/anti-GLBTQ attitudes were/are institutionalized at your school?

SECTION IV: Final Thoughts and Suggestions

What other questions could we ask?

Say anything that comes to mind!

survey_questions_per_page = 0;

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Portugal’s First Gay Marriage

The first gay couple to get married in Portugal signals a change in the mainly catholic nation.

The couple got married in a registry office after a law was passed allowing same sex marriages in the country. Teresa Pires and Helena Paixao, divorced Portuguese mothers in their 30s who have been together since 2003, married in a 15-minute ceremony at a Lisbon government office.

This marriage had come less than a month after the conservative President ratified the marriage law that was passed by Parliament all the way back in January.

This makes Portugal the 6th nation in Europe to have allowed the same sex marriage law in their nation.

The mainly ultra conservative county is trying to bring it people into the modernized world. Seeing as how the rest of the world is becoming more progressive and liberal on actions such as same sex marriage Portugal wanted to jump on the band wagon and bring its country out of the ways of old thinking.

It was illegal to be a homosexual in Portugal up until 1980, when they took away the law to bring about a more understanding society.

Read more here

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Men4Men Scholarship® is pleased to announce the Bart Greaton Scholarship for Gay History studies. This annual grant will be given to qualifying students of any gender or age who are pursuing a degree in gay studies, gay history or men’s studies at an accredited secondary institution.

Applicants will be judged on essays submitted for publication in Men4Men™ Magazine on the related topic that most inspires them and must also fill out an application by the August 1, 2010 deadline. This year’s scholarship will be $500 and the winner will be selected on August 31, 2010.

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Alan Watts on Sex and the Church

So why is sex such an enticing topic, and why is it so taboo?
Some say the West is uptight, and even European tourists to
Florida scoff at the swimwear required at US beaches.  If sex
were actually taught (and practiced!) at school, would it become
as boring as algebra?  This audio lecture from Alan Watts asks
such questions and explains why “Making Whoopie” makes
some people nervous.

Alan Watts – Sex in the Church from John Allen Bell on Vimeo.

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