I think my loved one might be gay.
Congratulations! Many people do not have the honor of knowing someone gay or at least don’t know they know someone.
You might be asking yourself – “well if he/she is gay, how to I treat them”? The answer to that is VERY simple and VERY important – you treat them like they are your loved one. Any other response is inappropriate and not loving.
You may not be pleased that your loved one is gay – or you may love it – either way – it is what it is and YOU need to deal with it – it will help your loved one deal with it. Trust me they will have plenty to deal with in the various forms of discrimination that we are forced to accept in the lack of equal rights: marriage, adoption, legal access, job and housing discrimination; the list goes on. If LOVED one is how you really refer to this person – do just that love them, support them, ask them questions, learn about them, care about their lives.
It may make you uncomfortable to talk about their life but ignoring it is very hurtful. Ask them if they have a significant other just as you would ask your straight loved one. Make sure invitations include “guest” or the person’s name, just as you would a straight friend. Introduce that person to others the way your gay friend would choose to have you do that – “this is Jason’s friend” can be very patronizing where “this is Jason’s partner” can be very freeing and respectful to everyone involved.
There may be a number of hurdles for you to get over – but in the end you and your loved one will both be much closer and respect will be the word used to describe how you feel about one another.
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I don’t remember coming out to my parents in any specific way. They just knew that I was gay. My mom asked my brother if he was gay, because at 30 years old he had no girlfriend ever that we knew about. “You never asked me!” I told mom. “I never had to!” she replied.