EDITORIAL Let’s Be Adult: Gay Marriage vs. ?

It seems there are two sides, at least, to the whole Gay Marriage issue, which (by the way) seems to be of much more concern to non-gay people than to men who love men. Either you are for settling down and being just like a traditional religiously and socially mandated male/female relationship – or you carry on like an obsessed, sex-crazed bohemian. Surely there is a middle way.

As gay men we have the pleasures and responsibilities of living outside the box. Our morals, behaviors and needs are not necessarily the same as a male/female couple. Some gay men try their best to create the “perfect relationship” they envision, including even marriage vows and mortgages. Other gay men live completely free of emotional or economic commitment and fill their social worlds with fleeting sexual encounters.

“The Netherlands was the first country to allow same-sex marriage in 2001. Same-sex marriages are also recognized in Belgium, Canada, South Africa, Spain, and the U.S. state of Massachusetts and in dispute in Iowa as of early September 2007 where a district court judge issued a stay of his ruling that Iowa’s ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional. Two male college students became the first same-sex couple to marry in Iowa before Judge Robert Hanson, in Polk County District Court, filed an order to delay the issuing of any more marriage licenses to same-sex couples in Iowa pending further review of the district court’s ruling.”

Infidelity is defined by Dictionary.com as “marital disloyalty; adultery; a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression…” In gay relationships, perhaps more than mainstream society, there is often an openness and a trust that allows for sexual experimentation. After all, that is what defines us as different. So fooling around isn’t always against the rules – sometimes it is part of the rules. Gay men, and in fact all persons, get to make their own rules … in real time and on a per-person basis.

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